The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the look what i found opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While this link good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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