The Sexuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the go right here Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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